Sunday, January 11, 2009

Turning Thirty...

This is the big year for me... i am; whether i like it or not; turning thirty... the big 3-0.

You might smirk at this entry. Yeah. 30. So? What's the big deal about it?. Suck it up lorr.

*Sigh* I am and always have been a ambitious person. I stop at nothing to get what i want. No. It doesn't mean that i have to slept with anybody. I have higher regards of my intelligence. But if it means that i have to work overnight, i'll do it. If it means that i have to go outstation non-stops within the year then i'll do it. If it means meeting important people in wee hours in the morning then i'll do it. Whatever the tasks given to the team, i triple my efforts to outdo the male colleague. If nobody dare to do inspection on the still under construction hanging fifth floor, i do it. There's nothing can stop me.

Now only months to go before turning 30, i got scared. In a steady relationship with same person for 6 years now.. i got scared. My biological clock is ticking faster than ever.

I don't want to get married yet but i also know that i don't have the luxury of time any longer. Most of our friends are now married with 2-4 kids. I guess that stressed both of our family a lot. Sometimes i even envy them, and im not ashamed of it. I chose this career path and ill live by my decision. I never regretted it ever. My life is too fun and adventurous even for the like of me. : )

If i get married now, when the business is just starting, i would hold off any thoughts of having kid. But as my biological clock is ticking faster than ever can i afford to do that?

If i decided to have kid, my priority would change. This i am sure of. What would happen then to my big dream? I dont want to put them on hold when the opportunity is right in front of me.

sigh.... well one thing for sure.. im turning thirty this year!